There was a point in time in my life where I didn't think anybody cared for me and I sheltered myself in my home. I didn't want to be around people because I didn't want to be hurt anymore. You see, I am a victim of emotional abuse by my husband. It got so bad that I began to use drugs to deal with the internal pain. I just couldn't deal with the verbal abuse anymore so I would take as many pills as I could just so I wouldn't have to deal with it. It even got so bad that I didn't feel it was even worth living anymore and on April 1, 1999, I attempted suicide. At the time, I was upset that I didn't succeed however I put myself in individual counseling. During the next several months, the counseling was making it worse because I had to deal with the pain so what did I do, took more pills. Finally one Sunday during church, during the prayer and praise time, I shut my eyes and prayed to Jesus to take a hold of me and help me with this pain. During my prayer, I felt this incredible feeling come over, so powerful that its hard to describe. It was as if someone had taken a hold of me or was holding me that all I could do was start crying. My husband, who was sitting next to me, asked me why I was crying and all I could say was, "I'm going to ok." He had no idea what I meant but I did. I knew it wasn't going to be over night and I tried to be patient with Jesus. In the next coming month when things weren't getting better and losing my faith, I questioned Jesus on why he was letting this to continue. Finally on October 4, 1999, I had a complete nervous breakdown. Its a night I will never forget. My husband was at it again and once again I began to cry. I could hear him in the background and as I was crying and shaking pretty bad, I prayed silently. As I continued to pray, I could hear my husband calling my mother and before I knew it, my mother was at the house. I told my mother to take me away from this house. When we got into her car, I remember her asking what I wanted to do and I know that
it was the good Lord speaking through me and I said, "Take me to the hospital." I put myself in the hospital and that is when I learned that I have an addiction to drugs. The next day, my husband and I met with a therapist. It was one of the hardest things I had to do but I told my husband that as much as I love him is how much I am scared of him. Well, it has been nearly seven months now and I am so GRATEFUL that the Lord gave me my life back and my husband. My husband and I both know that it was Jesus Himself that worked through us and helped us work together. The abuse has stopped, I attend NA meetings weekly, and we make it a point to read the bible together and pray together every night. As I look back on the past year, I know that when I questioned the Lord on why he wasn't with me, well I know now that He was with me at all times because He was carrying me and that I was NEVER alone! Thank you Lord for giving me the
Gift of Life!
by Bonnie from WV
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