Uncle Robert
By: autumnsikorski@yahoo.com

              

My story is complex, but in the end it all makes sense. It all happened around the months of approx. april to may of 2007. My dads brother had "supposedly" gotten rid of the cancer he had previously, but around april we seen some changes in him that were concerning. Both my parents were very close to him (more than anyone else on dads side of the family). So much, that any time he was down or needed something, they were the first he called. my parents are the most god loving christians i could ever meet, and their love for god is so intoxicating, that you cant help but feel the presence of something holy around them. So pretty soon, my uncle started wanting so spend more time with my dad, and seeming (in my eyes) very dependent on them. Of coarse i didnt understand why til later when my parents where explaining a ride to a "checkup" apointment they had taken him to. He didnt want my dad to go in with him to talk to the doc. and later my dad understood that his brother was trying to hide the info that the cancer came back. My uncle wanted to take the long way home after that, and my dad snapped at him and let him know that he knew a shorter way home. recently my dad broke down and told me he feels so guilty now, that he didnt take the long way. He told me,"if i would have just known, i would have taken him anywhere he wanted to go, no matter how long it took to get back..if i could have.....". Time went by and his condition got worse. the family faught over who got to care for him, trying to control him and keep a close eye on him. No matter where he went, he always called my dad a few days later asking him to pick him up and take him to my dads house. Even HE could feel the love of jesus in thier home and that was where he felt the most peace and love. as time drew on, my uncle started making preparations for his death and funeral with my mother. he told her to promise that she would fullfil his wishes. she promised. here are a few of his wishes:
1.He wanted to pass away in my parents home, with my dad. (those two men had more love for one another, than any sibling i have witnessed...he was my dads baby brother..my dad took on the honor of acting the father role, since their dad passed away before i was born.)
2. He wanted it to just be my mom, dad, my brother, me, his 2 sons, and his wife(that the family didnt care for) and step kids there when he passed and the time up til.
3.He wanted to be creamated and his ashes spread on his fathers grave (his boys ended up keeping half and did his wishes with the other)
4. He wanted me to sing "in the garden" at the gravesite(to this day, i feel guilty cause i could only sing the first line and my dad had to help me get through the rest)
 
Of coarse there was more, but i forgot the rest (i was days from the due date of my youngest daughter). 
About 2 days before he died(he was in a coma like state at this point), my dad was in the garage working on something (my mom broke her word on keeping it just us, she respected my dads family and let them come to show their love and there was so many people in their home it was smothering), and he heard his cell phone ringing so he looked at it, and it said that his brother (the one dying) was calling him. he picked it up but noone was there. He ran in the house and was asking all of us where robert was and where his phone was. Noone knew where his phone was, but he was in the front room on the couch. come to find out, his cell was next to the couch and noone had touched it. all had left it in the same spot my dad put it. Then, later (not sure on timeframes), my dad was alone and he heard my uncle robert call him "Russ...RUSS...i need you". So he automatically went to my mom and asked if uncle robert had talked. my mother told him..no. My dad bent down and got in his ear and told him to squeeze his hand if he was trying to get my dad to come to him, if he needed him. He squeezed his hand. still unconcious. the most wonderful moments in the end though was:
1. the night before he died, the whole family sat around him in the living room and sang gospel songs and songs he loved. durring the words (of a gospel song), "Precious Lord, take my hands, lead me on, help me stand, i am weak, i am tired, i am worn",  My uncle, still in a coma, RAISED HIS HANDS, waiting for the lord to take them and lead him home. (it was ironic and amazing to all of us and we all immediately started to bawl, cause he used to be a christian and went down a dark path, but at that moment, we knew he found his faith).
2. Later that night, he was nearing his "time", and had NO strenght left in him. He had his 2 boys with him by his side. out of somewhere deep inside him, he woke up, stood in front of his sons, and hugged them both at the same time and squeezed them with whatever life he had left. he hugged them in a way that told them that he loved them and that he wanted them to love each other. then he kissed them, layed down, and went to jesus. 
               
 
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Thanks for stopping by.
Ainglkiss@aol.com
 

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