Angel Is Her Name

hi, my name is mercy and am a kenyan.
i discovered that i was pregnant when i was in form 3 back in 2006. i was scared to death. just the thought of me dropping out of school was devastating, everyone knew that i was a bright kid and all the teachers were saying how intelligent i was. how was i going to face any of my family, teachers or students? what about my schooling? how was i supposed to raise a child?

to me, i never believed that i was pregnant, first because it wasn't like i had sex with the guy who made me pregnant....whatever happened between us, he just ejaculated on me i, how could God let this happen to me? i was angry with hin but at the same time i tried to beg him to take the child away.i remember reminding him how many people wanted children and they were doing everything just to have one, even a crippled or a dead one, just to experience parenthood even if it's just for some few minutes....but if he was listening, i don't know because he never paid attention to whatever i was saying.

i kept on hoping that i would wake up one morning and find that i wasn't pregnant again but instead i started feeling the baby moving inside me, it was a nice feeling and now i regret not enjoying those day my teacher (who was a good friend of mine) asked me if i was pregnant, and i denied. i don't know why but i denied....some days before i had participated in a debate that was saying 'ABORTION SHOULD BE LEGALIZED', i was the strongest OPPOSER and we won...what nobody knew was that i was 6 months pregnant.

by the time i wanted to run away from school, i was summoned to the principal's office and told to go home since my aunt had passed away. and so i didn't run, because i had permission.

after the barial, i ran away from home and went to stay with my brother's ex-girlfriend; they had a son together so i knew she would help since she had experience.....she took care of me well. and my mother often came to visit since i had refused to go and stay with my grandmother....i was 7 months pregnant when i left school.

before i had left school, one day while i was in class i had a vision of my baby; she was brown in complextion, and she was sitting on a green baby walker, and more to it she was a girl! but her face was hidden from me and i could only see her from the back. from then i fell in love with her and i knew that i wanted her.

then when i was about 8 months pregnant, i had a dream that i had given birth but i didn't feel pain and also i didn't see how the baby came out......i just had her in my arms....she was a girl. i told my friend about it and she dismissed it saying that child bearing is the most painful experience and i will feel the pain....i didn't say anything.

when the time came, i just felt a little pain in the lower abdomen and they said we had to go to the hospital....i walked to where we were supposed to take a vehicle to the hospital...nobody could tell that actually we were headed to the marternity, i was feeling no pain.  when we reached there they said that i was having no labor and so i should go home and come back in active friend whom i liked alot refused. i was scared of being left alone but she insisted on me staying....i was left there and scared.

after some times, the nurses (the ones who had told me to go home had already left) started examining me. i was in no pain and i don't know why she didn't leave me alone....later she realised that the baby wasn't moving, she told me to stay for 30 minutes then come back.....30 minutes weren't over and she was the one who called me back, still the baby wasn't moving....she gave me some few more minutes and my water broke....that's when they realised that the baby had pooed in the womb and so she was most likely dead!

they called the doctor and i was to be taken to the theater.....if only to save my life. but i was fine! actually i waked to the theater! when i woke up, i was told that i had a baby girl! and i remembered that i had promised God that i will call her Angel....(atually i had prayed for a baby girl, brown skin like me and more, beautiful than me and i wanted her to resemble me, my mom says that when she looks at her, she feels like she raising me again!, and that was going to name her after my mom. Angel is all that and much more!

for now, Angel is 2 and a half years old.....she is everything i would have wanted my baby to be and i love her more than my own life.....God perfomed another miracle for me when i was called back to school to do my final exams... i felt like going crazy, not beacause i was happy but because i knew i couldn't..."for heaven sake i was out of school for a whole year without touching a book! how was i supposed to do it?" i thoght of not going and i prayed to God to help me...i remember i felt a whisper like; JUST GO, I WILL BE WITH YOU. i trusted what i had and i went...i did my exams and when the results came out, i had a C plain....! no one could belive it, i made history in my school and everybody respects me for keeping the baby, going back to school and getting great results! but i thank GOD for everything and to HIM only will all the glory be....

for now, Angel is like the source of joy in my family, she calls me 'mom' and also calls my mom 'mom', it's amazing because she alone knows how to differentiate but we all feel great to have her...

thanks for reading and i hope that this will be a blessing to you like it have been to me. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL, AMEN.

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