My mom passed away on 11 Sept. 2006 and
I was very sad. My mom suffered from depression, surrendered herself to
alcohol and thus were a constant responsibility and worry to me, but I
still loved her dearly. The time before she got very ill, I told her that
I cannot bear the burden of worrying about her anymore and would not make
any contact unless she accepted she needed help. I was forced however to
make contact again, because she got herself into hospital by drinking too
much, passing out and getting concussion. I then decide a serious talk
was needed and told her that I want to have children, but since I cannot
function properly by worrying constantly about her, would not be able to
give my best for my children unless I broke contact or she got herself
some help. A week later she passed away (luckily I told her that I was
sorry about all the hurt I caused her by rejecting her and that I do not
condemn her, since I knew her problems originated out of grief of my
fatherís death and a difficult childhood). I got pregnant and were
expected to deliver exactly on the 11 Sept 2007! I refused (since I needed
a ceasarian) and told the doctor it would definitely not be on the same
day my mom passed away. We decided on the 12th.The one thing however that
I will never forget is the voices I heard every now and then (before the
delivery). I heard the voices in the wind (although I was in my bed in
my house), sometimes the wind blew outside and I still heard these voices.
I could not hear at any time what these voices were saying, but it was
definitely a group of voices, which I concluded had to be angels. The fact
that this child was basically destined to be born on the 11th made me think
that she is truely a gift from God to fill all the emptiness and sadness
of a lifetime. I never heard the voices again after she was born and also
did not hear it with my second child. I just recall that the morning of
my momís funeral, I was lying in bed, totally exhausted. As I woke up I
felt someone loosing a grip on my hand. Iím not sure whether it was my
mom or an angel, but what I do remember is that I constantly held my momís
hand whenever I visited her in hospital........
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