I became pregnant last year and didn't know until I was 6 months, even through consistent and vigorous tests.
My boyfriend and I were torn in confusion not knowing what to do. I had just quit my job at Bellagio, we just moved into a new town home, he had a new job. Everything was against us. Yet ,I still tried to figure a way through it. I applied for food stamps, welfare, you name it...I applied...you name it, I was declined.
Through endless thoughts of how we were going to raise a child, we considered adoption.
Considering that we ALL go through life saying, "OH- I will never give me child up", it was our last and only alternative. However, today I say that I chose a future for my baby instead of giving him up.
Those last 3 months were the most difficult time of my life. We met adoptive parents, and they were great!!
We knew everything about them, and I even wanted them to be part of my delivery.
Well, the day came...5/6/98...I gave birth to my 7lbs 6oz baby.
I held him, fed him, and heard him cry. Till this day, I hear his voice in my head. But on my last day with him in the hospital I cried unto God and asked, " Why me? I have already been challenged so many times, why another?"
I asked if this was his will to please send me a sign. Well, the baby and I fell asleep and I dreamt, with who is today, my Angel, Lucas.
He told me that I would be strong, and I would make these parents very happy and that Lucas, in turn, would love me for it, and as he awoke, his smiles and giggles would be his way of saying, "You did well, don't hate yourself."
Suddenly, I was startled as I awoke and realized that my baby was still sound asleep in my arms. Sure enough, I lay my head back, and he awakes smiling, and laughing as if he were being tickled to death. I thought and cried, " Could it be that God really heard me?" Then I heard a voice that said, "He heard you".
Since then, I have grown closer to my angel, and the Lord, and know that I must live my life accordingly and my child is and always be in his safe haven, and I sleep peacefully knowing that every night and knowing that I was guided to do the right thing.
I hope that my story has not bored you...it's quite extensive,,but thank you for allowing my to share my story, so that people really know that there is a GOD ABOVE..watching and waiting for us to submit ourselves to Him.
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you would like to share?
Please mail it to me and I will post it on this site.
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